Friday, August 12, 2011

Forget yourself...

"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people.
Forget yourself."
-Henry Miller

All is well :) I haven't been able to blog much lately. My days are full, full of life and love. I am busy savoring this time, enjoying the simplicity of every day.
I am taking a new direction, starting Monday, which will benefit my life (and hopefully some others along the way). Hopefully I will have a little more time to dedicate to writing here, as often as possible. For now, I am going back to sipping my coffee. While J sings and plays at my side, the fur babies are all safe and sound, the house is pretty clean, and I've got ribs slow cooking for dinner.

Away I go.
& a happy, happy, birthday to my sister Rae <3 who is far from us on her special day! miss you and love you Ms. Pepper! <3

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Ahhhhhhhh, summer. I love you.

Currently, it's almost 2:00 in the morning.

My mister is fast asleep on the other side of the couch. I've got 3 out of 4 fur babies just snuggling up to my legs, and I've got a piping hot cup of Acai/mango flavored tea :) I know I shouldn't be drinking it this late, but I am not sleepy at all!

Today was a good day. We took a little trip down to the Schneider Flats in a little town close by called Bloomingdale. They are these three lakes that are tucked away in this wonderful nature conservatory type place. They reserve one of the lakes for swimming only, how cute is that? Every where you look there's a puppy without a leash, just running and playing in and out of the water! The other two lakes are for fishing, and that is what we were there for! Joshy bought me my own rod (he is pretty cute, it's a pink rod with; pink line, pink lures and even pink bobbers! haha!) and a little rainbow butt pad so my tooshy wouldn't have to get all muddy! We snuck down to this nice secluded spot and stood in the water all day! Enjoying the sun, the water between our toes and each others company. There was the biggest hawks nest near by, with little babies just poking their not so little heads out. We saw the mamma scoop up a fish too, it was pretty rad.

The best thing was just being able to hang out with my guy. Laughing and being silly, in the kind of way that no one would really understand. I missed my pup's all day though (we opted to leave them at home for fear of fishing hooks coming in contact with their little bodies). It's kind of silly, but when you are around other peoples dogs and not your own, you really miss them!

I am trying to be sneaky and quiet right now, so tomorrow I will try and post some photo's from our little excursion, since I don't want to go into the other room to get my card and all that jazz.

Fishing again tomorrow?
I think so :)

Sunday, June 5, 2011

If you surround yourself with negative people, you'll never feel settled in or become equal

So ignore the bad & the good will surely come, don't think second best-BE NUMBER ONE! Spread some love, don't give to receive. Strive to happy & live to believe!

I love spending time with my best friend <3

Friday, June 3, 2011

Don't say goodbye, just say so long!

Until next time!

I haven't really written about it yet, but last weekend my sister Rae and my nephew Sky-walker (Skyler) flew out to Alberta. For good. Her future hubby was already out there getting their home ready for them. The night before they left, we spent some special time together. They slept at our house. It was an emotional evening. My sister fell asleep early like a little baby and I stayed up nice and late with Sky (he's 6), we played Little Big Planet 2, we ate candy and chips, watched Star Wars and talked and snuggled. I am so happy for them, to begin a new chapter-a big adventure- in their lives. I am 100% proud of my sister and the woman she has become! & my nephew, well he means the world to me, and I won't stop missing him.

I wrote each of them a personal letter to take along with them, each talking about how much I love them and will miss them. For Rae, I sewed her an apron out of some cute vintage fabric, since she liked mine. For Sky, I put together this little box of stationary, stickers, all kinds of pens, pencils, markers, envelopes..etc. On the inside of the box lid, I lined it with photo's of J and I with him, one of our puppies (he loves them) and one of Rae and I. I added a card with our address so we could be pen pals. I hope he writes :)

The morning of the big move was kind of surreal. We walked uptown for coffee, got her all dolled up to see her guy and hugged Sky as much as I could. We took them to the airport and said our goodbyes. It was sad, we all cried at one point or another. Sky picked me a flower at the airport and told me he loved me, and it was really hard not to bawl when Rae hugged me...I've spoke with my sister since they've arrived. They are doing great! Excited and still getting settled. They already had a new home and a new car!

I am sad for selfish reasons, but this is the right thing for their family and I can really respect my sisters desire for giving her son a great, new, opportunity for adventure!


Monday, May 30, 2011

Sweet, Sweet, Summer!

It's been a wonderful week!

I've had such an amazing week with J.
I wish I could recall every moment of every day to document here. Since I only write here and there, I generally only write a bit. This week has been fun, i'm actually really enjoying this whole work vacation thing! haha!

Here's my weekend re-cap;

On Friday my girlfriend Sara came over, we played video games, hung out and went shopping! I bought this awesome ceramic cupcake and a gift for my older sister's birthday (I got her a retro apron and a cool re-usable mug).

Friday evening I made burgers for dinner for myself, J, and our buddy Ky
le. We had a few drinks and Kyle slept on our couch, it was a hilarious night and I had so much fun just joking around and being silly with those two!! Check out Kyle wearing my Fett helmet (Below), lol, he was soo happy!!!

Saturday morning I woke up super early and headed over to my dads house. I drove Em (my little sister) and a car full of her 16 year old girlfriends to a convention in Toronto. It's called Anime North. It's this super fun, and HUGE, event that showcases Japanese art, music and comics. Em & friends all dressed up as anime characters from their fav. show. I love going to North. This is my third year going and I can't wait to go again next year! There's an insane amount of amazing, talented, artists...and because the place is so full, it's kind of competitive, so the art is dirt cheap! I also love that all of the local comic shops come out. It's a one of a kind place!

Saturday evening I got home and spent some time with the hubby before Zach came over for the night. Zach is J's old buddy. They have been close friends since they were each in the second grade. I actually met Josh through Zach :) He lives in B.C. and is visiting home for the summer. Each time he comes back he stays with us off and on, and hangs out a bunch! The boys jammed it out, played video games and had all kinds of nostalgic conversations. I, however, was sooo tired from North that I actually fell asleep on the couch pretty early! J picked me up some amazing food from this place called Northern Thai and I ate, hung out and fell asleep pretty quick! haha.

Then, Sunday after Zach went home, J and I snuggled and then decided to actually do something productive. He took me out for lunch at Moose Winooski's, which was amazing!! I haven't been there since they renovated years ago, and I have to say, I was super impressed. The food was insane! I loved it!! After we ate, we went grocery shopping..I LOVE grocery shopping, which I know is kind of silly, but I love planning what to make and what not. I saw Krystal in the grocery store too, hehe. After shopping we came home and snuggled some more, this time with the puppies, and then went out once more. On our way out J. spotted a cute rocking chair with a free sign on it, and snagged it for me! Another man wanted it and was trying to get him to leave it, but he knew I would like it, so he stuck to his guns! ha! It's so cute!! We then decided to go hang out at Nick & Char's and watch a movie! We stopped on the way there for snacks (& a super comfy pair of slippers, haha, thanks babe!) and hung out with them long into the night.

Now here I am, it's Monday!! The boy is at work and it's almost 4 in the afternoon! I woke up with him this morning to make him a lunch, but instead he insisted I sit beside him and just cuddle and talk no lunch for him! haha, sacrifices! After he left I started cleaning the house and worked my day away. I cut fresh flowers from our garden, which is something I do every couple of days. Now I am planning dinner and just laying in bed with my lap top (I steam-cleaned the couch in the living room and it is still wet) with a delicious iced coffee that I just conjured up. Hmmm....Pork tenderloin, corn on the cob and some mashed tater's? Sounds about right ;)

Here's a gazillion photo's :)

Magellan, looking at his baby photo :)

A sleep summer, Suki!

Decals over our bed. I bought these with Krystal last October and finally decided to put 'em up!

My version on a "What I Wore" post, haha!! With my pup Scully just chillin' in the corner.

NUNCHAKUUUU!!! A gift for J. from AN11

A print to go with out zombie head cookie jar in our kitchen :) Also from AN11

Got this while out with Sara!

SIICK Sailor Moon mug from AN11!!

Buttons and a TokiDoki bag I got from A11.

Plush Yoda, was my fav. find at AN11!!! He's soooooo darn cute!!

Piccolo from AN11, another gift for J!

More vinyl toys for J! AN11 too.

Kyle rocking out in my Fett helmet!

Tomorrow, Jen is coming over to spend the day with me while my guy is at work again. We are going to bake some more doggie treats and sew something up.

Life is good, 'aint it?


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The sky seems a bit bluer. The air smells a bit sweeter.

Operation housewife...


Well here's the beef.
I've been let go at work.

It was a terrible shock at first. I felt betrayed and angry...and very, very, sad.
A "thank you for going above and beyond the call of duty for us" and a severance package does not make it feel okay. Even though they said I did nothing wrong, nor could I have done anything to change this corporate decision, it was still poopy. It took a few days to feel better, but with the encouragement and love of those around me, have helped to give me strength, to realize that I am much more than my workplace. I realized, through some serious tear shedding, that I am still a photographer. No matter which studio I work for. Mr. Weston, Jim, Alyssa and Ken-you will never, ever, be able to take that away from me. I have a passion for what I do, for the families I get to work with and for trying to be the best photographer I can be. No salary is going to change that!!

Since I was not fired, but rather "let go" I have no negativity on my record and I get the whole summer (and then some) to continue life with payment. So instead of sulking and crying and stressing about what is going to happen next...I am going to take this for what it actually is. An opportunity.

Last week I told Josh that my biggest dream is to be a housewife. I know that might sound silly, and might tick off my mom (who has always pushed my independence as a woman), but this is what I really want. It might not be your dream, but it is mine! I want to spend my days; gardening, sewing, cooking, baking, painting, writing music and musing over the love I have for my fiancée. Doing all of the things I LOVE!!

& when it is all over, I will return to working. I will find something else. Because I am a good person. I am a whole hearted, hard working kind of person. I have some photo shoots lined up throughout the summer already, which will help my portfolio growth outside of a studio. So you can imagine, I am very excited for what's to come. I have been supporting myself and working to eat/live since I was very young. Younger than most. So this is my opportunity to do things for me again. To enjoy my own company, my own wants and to make my ideas come to life!

No matter what, I still am me. Silly Shara, with people who love her no matter where she works.


Friday, May 13, 2011

It's simple math. The truth can NOT be fractioned.

I was thinking today..

I have loved and enjoyed baking so much lately, I would make my poppa proud. I can put together a recipe on a whim, using simple equations and spontaneity.

I never really had the chance to learn much from him, but I think if he were here today, he would be happy with who I am.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

"Loneliness does not come from being alone, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important." -Carl Jung

I guess that pretty much sums it up.

I realize that my loneliness isn't so much about being dis-satisfied with myself, and being okay with just me. It's not about not having many friends or family...I guess it's more about relating. Maybe I should just accept that every one individual person will never have the same experiences...and as different as I feel-day to day-who wouldn't? no matter the circumstance. Get it?

I am a happy girl. One who thinks, each day, that this could be over any minute! Sometimes I see the negative a little more than the positive. Now that is something I need to work on! haha! Just because I don't talk about these things..doesn't mean I don't feel them.

Maybe i'm just a basket case!

I'll tell you a few positive things in my life..right this moment!

I have a boy, who loves me with his whole heart.
I have a roof over my head and won't go hungry.
I have a job I actually like, but realistic goals to continue my own growth.
I've got a crazy-but wonderful family. One that I neglect to tell how much I care (My brother, my sisters, my nephews, my step mom, my aunts and most of dad.
I have a good future and a good heart.

& if you stick around long enough, you might see that :)

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Hmph.'s Thursday evening. Josh and Jeff just jammed for a few hours. Work was decent for me...I made some paper carrots to use as a prop (in my studio), got my camera back from the repair centre, knitted two more bows..and well..have been feeling super emotional.

I don't know if this is just my hormones acting up..but every once in a while my mind has difficulty straying from the negative. Don't get me wrong, over-all I am a happy girl and my life is good.

I am feeling a little lonely.

Maybe i'm just jealous?
I guess, the teenie bopper in this adult body yearns for more.
More what?
More attention, more connection, more love.

I have accepted that I am different. I know how hard it is to find anyone who is truly genuine & nice & fun, let alone someone I can to relate to. The things that keep me happy are things that make me unique. They are things that most people wouldn't dare to bat an eye at more than once.

I'm not saying 100 friends would be ideal.
It's not like that.

I guess, I don't even know what it is! My guy is my best friend, but I don't want to be completely dependent. When he is not around, who am I with?


No-one at all.

Just me!

Tomorrow, while he is at work, and I have the day off. I will do the normal me thing.

Get up, clean, eat, cook/bake, walk uptown to the comic shop & cuddle my pups.

(Just took a break from writing & ate dinner.)
So here's the kicker...writing this tiny little blurb, has helped me feel better already. Strange right? I guess I shouldn't take things for granted. Just because I don't have many "friends" doesn't mean I don't have any. I should be proud of being myself and being able to kick it alone.

Lucky for me, this cute boy has noticed I have been feeling down. So now he is trying to talk me out of my poopy mood. So instead of continuing this cry fest, I am going to stop feeling sorry for myself and get off of here! haha! 'Til next time, and hopefully a better mood, i'll be back!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

No dawn. No day. I'm always in this twilight (of your heart).

It's been a bit since my last post!
We've been pretty busy.. for the most part having many 'a date night. Watching a ton of Netflix, playing Black Ops online. Cooking, hanging out, sewing, band practice and such! Plus working out! Yeahh!

I don't have much time to elaborate tonight. So instead! I will leave with a couple of photo's :)
*A quick little head band I knitted on the bus ride home!
*RAINBOW cupcakes!! EEEE!!!!
*A pretty photo I took of my sister Rae standing in my living room window.
*A new bag I made!

P.S. I'm quite excited for the weekend to get here!! My book Essex County is in at the comic shop!! I plan on making some more stuffz & cooking/baking my little heart away.

Uhmm. Jeff is over right now, he and Joshy are jamming upstairs. I don't feel so well legs are really super tired..I can't wait for cuddles!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sew Nice! (Photo dump!)

Another update, via a day off work!

Josh & I have been quite spoiled over the last couple of weeks. We've been fortunate enough to treat ourselves to some nice things. Josh bought me a sewing machine! It's a beautiful Singer! He also got me a bunch of fabric pieces, supplies and accessories to go with it. I feel pretty darn lucky to have such a thoughtful boy in my life! As a treat for himself, he got a new Ovation acoustic-electric guitar. He bought the machine for me last night, and already I've made; a matching set of tye dye curtains for my kitchen window and back door (which is in the kitchen). A cute chocolate print apron and a wallet!

Today was so nice, I took a walk downtown to a little fabric store, where I searched high and low for Star Wars prints, but was not successful. The boy is going to take me t
o a couple other stores to keep searching. I want Star Wars themed pillows and curtains to go in my craft room :) I can't wait to make more curtains for our living/dining rooms! We had a cutesy date night the other night was awesome, we went out for steak and some drinks. It was fun and silly :) Joshy alsohappened to pick up his new Black berry phone that night too, haha.

Right now, Nick is over and the boys are playing Black Ops. Fun! Dude is curled up beside Nick and Scully is all cuddled up to my feet, lol. Last night was some From Lambs to Lions practice. Jeff brought over a new mic. and stand which made things so much better. It sounded incredible.

I am sad to say, I am back to work tomorrow. After only a single day off work this week. Poo
py! Although, one great thing about work is, my sister Rae is working in the same mall. So I've been able to see her, and my nephew Sky quite a bit more :)!!!! I took Sky's school photo's this week (he's 6). He's so cute and so silly. It melts my heart every time he says he loves me (Dear Sky, if you ever read this, when you are have touched my life in ways you will never understand. I love you with all my heart. I always have and I always will! Aunt Boo Boo is here for you, forever!).

Woop. Time to go!
'til next time!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Sweet Little Thing..

Today has been wonderful so far!
I've spent my day at home, keeping warm and busy! I woke up this morning with Josh and walked the pups. I was really sad when he left for work :( I don't know, I know I shouldn't be so dramatic...but he really is my best friend. Without him around, nothing is the same. SO generally, to avoid feeling too sorry for myself, I like to keep as busy as possible.

So this is what I did.

I started my day by spending some time outside with the babies (my dogs)! It's still pretty cold out, but today the sun was shining nice and bright! It felt a tad bit warmer than usual. They had a blast, just running around in the snow.

Then I wandered the internet for a couple hours :) Caught up on my favorite blogs! Once I wasn't feeling so lazy, I decided to get up off my butt and do something productive! I played bass for a while, did some laundry, cleaned the house...then attacked my kitchen!

I started off by making these cute little apple pops for my dogs. I am trying my best to give them healthy options for food..the same way I would want. I don't think it's fair that dogs and cats go their whole lives eating junk..I mean really, do you know what your dog is eating? Look it up! I want to at least try to do better for them, it's the least I can do! The recipe is very simple and human friendly. I don't add sugar though, I keep it as natural and simple as possible :) The stick piece is raw hide.

Once I made the puppy pops, it smelled so amazing (I even tried a piece of the fritter! haha! yum) so I decided to make some people versions. I did add sugar to these! & honey, and Cinnamon. Once they were done, I rolled them in this amazing Epicure sugar that I was given (as a gift from a client, thanks Mrs. Cox!!!). The sugar is Lemon Chiffon/Berry flavored (I mixed a bit). They look kind of strange, but taste soo yummy! I don't really know what to call them, they are a close version of my baked donuts, so I guess they are kind of sort of like apple fritters!

Then, I started my home made beef and barley stew. I am making this to freeze in containers for work lunches. I made it all from scratch! Beef, Barley, fresh herbs, garlic, fennel, onion, red
pepper, and spinach too! I LOVEEEE Soup like you would not believe! We always go for beef in barley at the supermarket, so I decided to make a home made version. This is my first attempt and I am 100% satisfied with it! I've let it cook slow, and low, all day. Yummzville!!

THEN, I decided to pre-make Josh's breakfast for tomorrow. I've already packed his lunch up. So to go with his yogurt (topped with honey, granola and fresh black berries) I made him a cute little egg sammie! I've never poached an egg before, let alone shape one! It was fun, simple and quick! I don't make breakfast in the morning when I have to go to work as well. I am just too takes me a while to wake up.

In between all of this Dave and Liette stopped by for a little bit. I walked the dogs again and continued my laundry. AND guess what? It's only 5:00pm! haha! So now I am about to start my first try at jambalaya! I can't wait until spring/summer. I want to use food that I have grown myself in my dishes. It's getting closer!!

Life is good. I really can't complain. In fact, I should do more of the opposite as much as possible. I am in a happy and healthy place. Thought I don't really know what the future holds for me, I can truly say I am living my life the way I want. When I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to grow up and get married. I wanted to find love, even when I was little. I don't know if my family will ever find this blog..I love them all, but I've always felt very alone. Half of my family, the half that would have taken care of me, does not even know (or ever will, for that matter) the hardships I have faced. Now that I am an adult, and have moved past those difficulties, I am figuring out who I am and what makes me happy. What makes me happy, is the small things! Like taking care of my little family! Being the best person I can be! and loving with all of my heart!! :)

Life is, very, good!

I've had a good day and I can't wait for Josh to come home from work!! Now back to my kitchen I go! It's Jambalaya time!!

Until next time!
XoX Shara!